Nicole Serrano.Photo: Nancy-Jae Park
Nicole Serranoloved Ariel.“I just thought she was so cute,” the singer/songwriter tells PEOPLE of the crush she once had on the beloved character fromDisney’s 1989 animated feature filmThe Little Mermaid. “But even from an early age, I knew this crush was not normal. I knew I shouldn’t tell anybody. I knew I shouldn’t feel this way because nobody else feels this way. I just knew I shouldn’t talk about it.“But today, 33-year-old Serrano is talking about it.“I just want to live my life,” the New York native says with a long sigh. “I just want to be happy. And in a way, I want to weed out the people who aren’t going to love me for who I am.“Nicole Serrano.Nancy-Jae ParkAnd who Serrano is at this moment — and who she has been for a long time — is a lesbian who has finally come to the place in her life where she is no longer afraid of the ramifications of living out her truth.“I’m a lot more enjoyable now because I don’t hate myself,” she says with a slight laugh.Indeed, Serrano has long had to hide this piece of her life from the far too cruel spotlight that comes when one doesn’t color inside the supposed lines of life. Having composed music alongside some of Christian music’s top artists includingChris Tomlinand Matt Maher, Serrano was just 11 years old when she told her mom that she thought she was gay.“I went to a church that told us that homosexuality was a sin,” remembers Serrano, who soon after met with her pastor who “prayed over me and basically tried to pray the gay away.” “I honestly didn’t know what that big word meant, but I knew somehow that how I felt about my teammates, or my classmateswasn’tOK. I felt tormented. I wanted so bad to be a good kid, you know?“As a result, many of Serrano’s teenage years were spent trying to suppress the feelings beginning to well up within her.Nicole Serrano.Nancy-Jae Park"I always fell in love with my friends,” remembers Serrano, who now lives in Nashville. “I didn’t want to make them feel weird. But I would have sleepovers and I would be like, ‘Oops, I kissed my friend, or my friend kissed me.’ It was super suppressed and there was a lot of shame around it and there wasn’t anyone to really talk about it.“The facade continued into Serrano’s college years, as the North Central University student continued to deny what she already knew in her heart was true.“I really believed that if I dressed straight and talked straight, no one would know,” she explains. “I dated every eligible bachelor that I ever met.“She lets out a laugh.“I was dating really attractive men where I was like, ‘I’m definitely not straight if this isn’t working.'“Nicole Serrano.Nancy-Jae ParkAt the age of 28, Serrano realized that she was not changing, but the world was. Even within the church that had once felt so restrictive, there were points in which Serrano could see the light shining through. Indeed, people just like her were finding a home within certain churches where they were accepted and loved.“I eventually accepted myself, but it took a very long time,” says Serrano, whose songs have served as a worthy backdrop to scenes of shows such asGrey’s Anatomy, The Good Doctor,andSelling Sunset.“It’s been a long road filled with a lot of processing and a lot of religious trauma. But here I am.“Nicole Serrano.Nancy-Jae ParkToday, Serrano’s truth can be found through her music, including her new single “Nice to Meet You.““Songwriting has always been therapeutic,” explains Serrano, who is set to release a brand-new album this fall. “It’s how I work through my own life. ‘Nice to Meet You’ is a song I wrote one morning when I woke up and said to myself, ‘I just don’t care anymore.’ I needed everyone to know. I really wrote it as part of my own healing.“And now, it’s this song that just might help someone else.“I have not even considered that this could be a song that somebody uses to come out with,” she says quietly. “That would be the honor of my life.”
Nicole Serranoloved Ariel.
“I just thought she was so cute,” the singer/songwriter tells PEOPLE of the crush she once had on the beloved character fromDisney’s 1989 animated feature filmThe Little Mermaid. “But even from an early age, I knew this crush was not normal. I knew I shouldn’t tell anybody. I knew I shouldn’t feel this way because nobody else feels this way. I just knew I shouldn’t talk about it.”
But today, 33-year-old Serrano is talking about it.
“I just want to live my life,” the New York native says with a long sigh. “I just want to be happy. And in a way, I want to weed out the people who aren’t going to love me for who I am.”
Nicole Serrano.Nancy-Jae Park
And who Serrano is at this moment — and who she has been for a long time — is a lesbian who has finally come to the place in her life where she is no longer afraid of the ramifications of living out her truth.
“I’m a lot more enjoyable now because I don’t hate myself,” she says with a slight laugh.
Indeed, Serrano has long had to hide this piece of her life from the far too cruel spotlight that comes when one doesn’t color inside the supposed lines of life. Having composed music alongside some of Christian music’s top artists includingChris Tomlinand Matt Maher, Serrano was just 11 years old when she told her mom that she thought she was gay.
“I went to a church that told us that homosexuality was a sin,” remembers Serrano, who soon after met with her pastor who “prayed over me and basically tried to pray the gay away.” “I honestly didn’t know what that big word meant, but I knew somehow that how I felt about my teammates, or my classmateswasn’tOK. I felt tormented. I wanted so bad to be a good kid, you know?”
As a result, many of Serrano’s teenage years were spent trying to suppress the feelings beginning to well up within her.
“I always fell in love with my friends,” remembers Serrano, who now lives in Nashville. “I didn’t want to make them feel weird. But I would have sleepovers and I would be like, ‘Oops, I kissed my friend, or my friend kissed me.’ It was super suppressed and there was a lot of shame around it and there wasn’t anyone to really talk about it.”
The facade continued into Serrano’s college years, as the North Central University student continued to deny what she already knew in her heart was true.
“I really believed that if I dressed straight and talked straight, no one would know,” she explains. “I dated every eligible bachelor that I ever met.”
She lets out a laugh.
“I was dating really attractive men where I was like, ‘I’m definitely not straight if this isn’t working.'”
At the age of 28, Serrano realized that she was not changing, but the world was. Even within the church that had once felt so restrictive, there were points in which Serrano could see the light shining through. Indeed, people just like her were finding a home within certain churches where they were accepted and loved.
“I eventually accepted myself, but it took a very long time,” says Serrano, whose songs have served as a worthy backdrop to scenes of shows such asGrey’s Anatomy, The Good Doctor,andSelling Sunset.“It’s been a long road filled with a lot of processing and a lot of religious trauma. But here I am.”
Today, Serrano’s truth can be found through her music, including her new single “Nice to Meet You.”
“Songwriting has always been therapeutic,” explains Serrano, who is set to release a brand-new album this fall. “It’s how I work through my own life. ‘Nice to Meet You’ is a song I wrote one morning when I woke up and said to myself, ‘I just don’t care anymore.’ I needed everyone to know. I really wrote it as part of my own healing.”
And now, it’s this song that just might help someone else.
“I have not even considered that this could be a song that somebody uses to come out with,” she says quietly. “That would be the honor of my life.”
source: people.com
