All your friend , flames , and enemies are on Facebook . And now , you’re able to buy all of these people presents — gift cards for coffee berry , cake pops , champagne , and pencils . It ’ll all ship straight to their door . Why would I desire to buy things like this ?

Because it ’s a visible public display of generosity , and it ’ll make you look awing .

Facebook tempt member of the crush to a champagne and hors d’oeuvres packed gathering at FAO Schwarz to give up off the prescribed launch ofGifts . mayhap it ’s because it ’s almost gift - giving time , and our mind by nature freewheel toward images of grotesquely enceinte teddy bears and nutcracker . Or perhaps it ’s because FAO Schwarz is a perfect icon of blatant pulmonary tuberculosis , immaculately equal Facebook ’s fresh scheme of blatant donation . It ’s brilliant .

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The whole physical process is comfortable . Go to someone ’s wall . Now , where before you could only partake words and pictures , you could deal things . All form of things . Things to eat , things to drink , things to carry , things to stare at . blaze man , give your protagonist a Hulu Plus subscription , the Champagne-Ardenne of video cyclosis . It does n’t weigh .

What ’s in this heap for you — and that ’s why we ’re here , after all — is that your endowment will be an entirely public affair . That ’s proper : as soon as your credit card dealing move through , your generosity is plaster across hundreds ( K ? ) of news feeds , declare you — YOU — to be a person who founder gifts . A donor . positive proof that you think of someone other than yourself . It ’s a unusual doubling - back of Facebook ’s normal purpose — giving us all a humongous mirror .

And the in effect part ? you’re able to be a cheapskate and still search howling .

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An anecdote : While stomping around Facebook the other night , I establish myself on the Timeline of a heartfelt sometime college champion . I do n’t see her often . I notice the new , rosy red Gifts ikon . Click . Total impulse .

Facebook suggest I get her a $ 5 Starbucks gift card . Why the hell not . I picked from a litany of pre - program sentiments , adjudicate on “ Just Because . ” There ’s also , of course , “ Happy Birthday ” ( you ’ll stand out in the crew ! ) , and the ever - useful “ dark ” ( perfect for damage control ! ) . But will anything make you look more magnanimous on the cyberspace than buy a gift — even a cheap - o one — for zero reasonableness ? No , nothing will . Just Because . find fault that .

If you ’re particularly shameless , you’re able to even donate your gift to charity on someone ’s behalf .

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Your gratification will be immediate . It ’ll pop up on the receiver ’s wall , for all their friends to see . It ’ll show up in the provender even if nobody ’s looking at their wall . Your motion will be witnessed . People will Like it . Nobody will know that the entire thing took you maybe two or three minutes — even less time if you have your credit card numeral memorized .

Nobody will demand if you put a portion of mentation into the gift ( you did n’t ) or whether you even customized the bill of fare ( you need n’t ) . All they ’ll see is a gift from you , to someone , for no obvious reason . Your esteem will rise , and you wo n’t have to break a sweat , because Facebook has streamlined the entire process of generosity into something rote and clickable .

Flirting used to take movement . Reminiscing used to take effort . give people stuff used to take effort . Looking like an all - around decent person used to , too . [ Facebook Gifts ]

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